At The Bottom

"They say anything can trigger an emotion of a reoccurring act. Now i understand why...  

So ill add to the puddle of tears on my pillow and wonder if anyone out there will care...  

Those who can see through your fake smile are just bystanders in your peripheral view,  

because they still away what little innocence you had by just watching as depression engulfs you. The innocence that can never be reclaimed..."

me c:

Moving on

Jut found out my best friend is moving away in 3months..): Its been hard on me. Just yesterday, I had a meltdown... every time someone would say Nikolia or if I saw him I would break down into tears. I will never forget me crying in his arms. Crying into your best friends arms is the best thing that will ever happen, showing you they care. But I'm seriously gonna miss the shiz nit outta him. I'll think about our funn, tender, crazy, silly moments. We have soo much memories. When the time actually comes, its gonna be hard- but I'll pull through. But if I find out that he's not moving, I'm gonna flip a bitch..., cuz I cried 3 hours for you plus school (which was embarrassing.) but any who, you rock my life young grass-hopper. And you're  still a corn hoe.

Blah-Blah-Blah!

End of My Story!

(ahhh ohhh jimmy!)                                  *Mare-Mare's tender    thoughts*

 -Maryn Dunn
^ when Maryn, one of my closest friends gave me this note, I burst into tears. In the beginning of  my 1st period geography class I cried. And with the few gasps of air I took I'd laugh. Through out the day, I would break into tears. Some people play a bigger part in you life than you realize. I now understand what she is going through. In response I wrote this:


Once, i was a little girl. I wondered if anyone would come chasing after me if i was gone. So i left, i ran 8 houses away from my own.(which is like a mile when you're 6.) I sat on the corner on my block and waited. waited for someone to find me, to save me from myself. I waited for about 2 hours. Not one single soul said, "Are you okay?" or "Why are you alone, crying?" With fresh tears drying on my cheeks, i find the courage to go home. I glance through one of our back windows to see a happy family, un-phased by my dissaperence.

People always leave. Maybe in their final moments, they just want to see a good friend there wanting you to stay. Wanting to rescue you from the inevitable tearing the two of you apart.

When all there is is darkness, you'd be amazed by what could truly be.

Dream: A red candle flickers and crackles as a hope is illuminated in the dimmed background.

Interpretation:  To see a red colored candle in your dream symbolizes some intimate or romantic relationship. You may not be giving the relationship a fair chance and are dismissing it before you invested sufficient time to learn more about the other person. I wasn't really trying to hold on to what the two of us had and kinda gave up. On the other hand, you may just not be feeling any chemistry or passion.I don't think I ever really did... It may be fucked up, and I'm angry at myself for what I did, but I cant be judged by anyone else more than I, myself.

1-31-2012

Without hope, the world is so dark, but hope is what keeps us here

               Dream: I was in the backseat of a piece of shit, white Pontiac. As frost begins to form because of the cold settling in as the sun begins to set on the window, I see a figure circulating the premiss. The person seems to be alone. On the final round, the stranger in all black turns straight towards me. I then realize I'm in danger. My heart races, I felt the urge to break into a sprint but was paralyzed, overcome with emotion of shock and fright. The tint from the window, or the locked doors couldn't save me now. As the stranger approaches the car with stealth and quickness, I can see that the profile is that of a mans. I close my eyes and the shattered glass  flies into the passengers seat, the window he bashed in. blood smeared on the seat from him hopping in. I finally can move once again. As he turns the set of keys in the ignition, I struggle to open the door. My escape is literately a car door away, and yet I forget how to unlock the door, predictable every day use is so difficult when life or death is on the line. Hollywood really got that one, spot on. Then just as all hope is basically out the window, I'm free. My converse all stars hit the pavement, with traces of blood and shattered glass. All in the same moment I run. I run as fast as I possibly can, adrenaline carrying me across the earth. As I let my heart rate begins to settle to its original state. In the distance a line has formed over the course of  the day and into the night. I ask myself, "Why me? Why today?," and then I wonder,"What the hell is this line here for?"
I find one answer, a management worker, dressed in all blue like that of his co-workers. I sprint up to his work position and by one look he can tell something is wrong. Maybe he can answer a lot more questions than I had given him credit for.

                Interpretation: To dream that you car is being stolen indicates you are being stripped of your identity. I had just recently been broken up with by my ex. this may relate to losing your job, a failed relationship, or some situation that has played a signifigant role in your life and who you are as a person. That's how everyone saw me, as Isaiahs girlfriend. Now I'm known for myself, and its pretty great.


1-21-2012

The 2012 New Years kiss

 DREAM: All I ever get is a flash of the leading And the scene of the kiss. I'm drinking at this party, and I'm smashed. So my friends and I are dancing in the living room, front door to the right of me. My beer in a red cup, along with everyone else, is sloshing around. The doorbell rings and I stumble my way to the door. Open it and drape my arms around his neck, and even though I was asking for it, I was still surprised when the tall, black haired senior leaned down and kissed me. After a minuet I jerked back as if I had just touched a piece of chewed up gum stuck underneath the desk I had once wanted. I locked on the strangers big, brown eyes, and exclaimed,"Why'd you kiss me, I'm not single." And his next words surprised me. 

"You're not the one to judge."

INTERPRETATION:  To dream of being kissed signifies a new start. I had been getting bored with my current relationship. We never hung-out anymore and, frankly, it didn't feel like I was in a relationship. A new person from your past may return. I within 2 months I had found out that my ex-boyfriend would be visiting my school. Even though he my ex, we didn't end on bad terms. Love/passion may take a change in detection. My first reaction was excitement, and then I told my boyfriend. Figuring he'd want to hear it from me. Well the following day he broke up with me. No hard feelings.  

Need help???

Hey people, if any of you have a dream to interpret I could do it for you! Just comment below or if that's uncomfortable than just email me.

In the comment: tell me your dream, exact order. change color, font or italicize anything that stands out to you, or made an impact on your emotions. This makes it easier to interpret, most importantly, describe your feelings though out the dream.


If you want to do it yourself then you could use a helpful website:

dreammoods.com

I hope I can help!